100 Streets (2016)

Though not as bad as some of the reviews suggest, 100 Streets is a multi stranded ensemble piece about interconnected lives in modern, metropolitan London that ultimately fails to deliver on its promises.

Idris Elba stars as a former England international Rugby Union captain whose life post-retirement hasn't quite panned out the way he'd imagined. Unfit, and spiralling in a malaise of drugs, drink, depression and one night stands, he's separated from his wife, a former actress played by Gemma Arterton, and their two young children. Arterton's being eyed up by an old friend and colleague, played by Tom Cullen, as she attempts to step back into acting with a little help from her old mentor, played by Ken Stott. Stott meanwhile has taken a young offender (Franz Drameh) under his wing, seeing the potential in this young man who desperately wants to escape the world of drug dealing on corners for the local Mr Big. Meanwhile, a middle-aged couple (Charlie Creed-Miles and Kierston Wareing) are considering adoption when a personal tragedy strikes that could change their lives forever.

100 Streets feels like the kind of multi-stranded London set drama that would have graced our TV screens back in the late '90s - and I don't mean that as a criticism, I actually can't help but think a mini-series would have been the better format, allowing the many plot strands the chance to breathe and grow, and develop more plausibly than a mere 90 minute feature can offer. I also can't help but think someone was busy with the scissors in the cutting room, a concern that has grown when I saw a cast list on TMDB that bears no relation to the finished product (actors like Jamie Foreman, Emma Rigby, Samantha Barks and Steven Mackintosh were all listed, but non actually appear here) It could be a mistake, but I'm not sure. 

Of the actors who do appear, Drameh, Stott, and Arterton equip themselves really well. Elba isn't an actor I have ever been truly convinced by, but I have to say this is one of his better performance despite a couple of unconvincing moments and Cullen is wasted in a perfunctory wafer-thin role. But the real stars here were Creed-Miles and Wareing; they give the best performance and I could have watched a whole film based solely on their relationship and story. I felt  really short changed that they, essentially the beating heart of the film, were often overlooked for the more dramatic developments that occurred elsewhere. 

I was also extremely disappointed to see the venomous Kay Burley of Sky News and the eternal idiotic misogynist John Inverdale of BBC sport appear as themselves. They shouldn't even be employed in their day jobs, let alone diversify into film.

Hansel & Gretel : Witch Hunters (2013)

Tommy Wirkola is a prime example of a non mainstream quirky and original talent 'emigrating' to the US and getting totally lost in the Hollywood machine.

In his native Norway he created the deeply trashy but rather fun horror B-movie, Dead Snow, whose strapline 'Undead Nazi Bastards' is still one I enjoy as being a prime example of calling a spade a spade. However something got terribly lost in translation for his first US film, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, though it is baffling to think just how it managed to go so disastrously wrong.

The film has a great cast; the divine Gemma Arterton, Jeremy Renner, Famke Janssen and Peter Stormare, a bigger budget than Wirkola had previously experienced, and a release date which meant it was riding high on the wave of the latest penchant for steampunk and revisionist fairy tales, which with the tantalising possibility of such fare being handled by a Norwegian whose childhood was no doubt steeped in such stories and myths, surely meant we were in for an enjoyable ride?

But this was a back firing non starter of a knackered old jalopy.

So why was it so crappy?

Wirkola’s film takes the classic Grimm fairytale of a young brother and sister lost in the woods who arrive at a gingerbread house and are immediately in danger for their lives thanks to an evil cannibal witch. His spin is that thanks to this admittedly traumatising experiences the siblings grew up to become ruthless and merciless witch hunters, determined to rid the Medieval European villages of witches. Now, whether you buy into this rather bombastic development and premise depends on what your gauge is for silly when it comes to entertainment but I for one was fully prepared and hoping for something not unlike the classic kitsch 70s Hammer Horror Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter. But sadly what we get is actually a rather empty, loud whizz bang affair that struggles to keep its feet in two camps; the quirky Euro sensibility Wirkola naturally has and the desire to please the American popcorn market, with a liberal dash of emo.

This is especially prominent in the fact that British actress Arterton has to deliver her lines in a rather poor and restless US accent to fit alongside Renner as her sibling, as opposed to Renner adopting some RP English like her Prince Of Persia co-star Jake Gyllenhaal had done. This wouldn't be too bad if both stars had a little chemistry in their ass kicking partnership but they do not - though they seemed to have more off screen when appearing on The Graham Norton Show -  and, though they equip themselves very well in the action stakes (I especially enjoyed Arterton headbutting Stormare) at times it feels like they're performing in different films. Somewhere the story - such as it is - gets lost too and there's little for an audience to invest in at all beyond the next CGI heavy set piece and glib one liner.

Maybe if this was produced in his native country for a fraction of the budget with complete unknowns it could have been another cult favourite, but in the big spotlight of Hollywood its just a flimsy, barely considered mess.

It perhaps comes as no surprise that Wirkola's next venture after this flop was a sequel to Dead Snow.

Tonight's Tele Tip : The Duchess Of Malfi

John Webster's Jacobean tragedy from the 1600s is brought to life at the Sam Wanamaker Playhouse on BBC4 tonight, with Gemma Arterton in the titular role

Culture and lechery all in one; tonight's top tele tip!

'Being Betty' with Gemma Arterton

Just when you thought Gemma couldn't be any more stunning and cute, she dresses up as Bettie Page...

Byzantium (2012)

Vampires, as a a genre, are dead in film. Creatively bereft, it is perhaps ironic that, like those mythical monsters, Hollywood seemed to have managed to make the genre more popular and prosperous whilst dead. Look at the Twilight franchise for example (if you really must) and the many knock offs that has gone on to create.

For me, the last great vampire film came not from Hollywood but from Sweden;  Låt den rätte komma in (Let The Right One In) which a revived and rebooted Hammer would go on to remake into the English language with alarming but numbingly inevitable alacrity. 

It has only truly been in TV (and specifically British TV, such as Ultraviolet and Being Human) and in the genres original format, the printed page (the likes of Kim Newman's excellent Anno Dracula series of novels, currently enjoying a revival, being an obvious stand out) where the vampiric legend has been kept afresh with bold storytelling, thriving with innovation and imagination, with one hand placed solemnly on the rule book, and another ready to rip it up.

It pleases me therefore to announce Byzantium as the finest vampire movie since  Låt den rätte komma in. Neil Jordan's return to the genre (having previously directed 1994's Interview With a Vampire) shows he has lost none of his passion or flair for handling such material and he chose wisely when tackling Moira Buffini's script, an adaptation of her 2008 play A Vampire Story, which in the traditions of the very best innovative projects in the genre, isn't afraid to add its own spin to the myths and legends.

It would be impossible and unfair to write a review of this without referencing the sublime double act at the film's heart, namely the beautiful Gemma Arterton and the incredible Saoirse Ronan as runaway, undead mother and daughter Clara and Eleanor. The pair play off one another amazingly, Arterton's character is hard, brittle, duplicitous and passionate; a vampire who kills to keep her secret and wages an eternal war on those who exploit the weak - mainly men trading in or abusing women. Whereas Ronan is fey, haunted and moralistic; her blood lust is used only as a euthanasia for those aged and infirm pensioners tired of life, a state she must cruelly persevere with. It's another incredible turn from the then 18 year old Ronan who, simply for the role of Eleanor itself, deserves the lion's share of the praise. She is shockingly talented beyond her years and capturing that fine balancing act between young and old all at once.

Unfortunately as enjoyable as this film is, and it really truly is, it isn't flawless. There are a couple of hokey scenes, lacklustre dialogue and paper thin characters wandering around the plot - indeed some, such as Uri Gavriel's Savella, feel like they've walked in from another far trashier more popcorn friendly film altogether, spouting lines like 'I hate cry women' after he dispatches a poor unfortunate whose only failing was trying to help a central character - and it's these things that mean it misses out on perfection. Jordan clearly tries to make up for these weaknesses by populating the flimsier characters with some serious acting talent but as good as it is (Daniel Mays, Kate Ashfield, Tom Hollander - the latter of whom one suspects is taking the role that may have been at some stage set aside for Jordan regular Stephen Rea, who is notable for his non-appearance) it's not enough, and on one occasion (Johnny Lee Miller playing the boo hiss traditional villain) it just shows up the failings even more. Equally, the difficulty inherent in Caleb Landry Jones strange accent makes some key scenes really difficult to follow. He's possibly the film's weakest link, which is a real shame as he's central to the plot as Ronan's love interest/likely saviour. Now, against Ronan's talent it is perhaps understandable that he's found wanting - but that accent really doesn't help matters.

That said, the film is stunningly captivating with a nice line in imagery (the desolate run down seaside setting, the fountains flowing vivid Hammer red blood) the use of concerns of neglect and abuse that was run parallel to the story, with the immortality the characters possessed. and some tongue in cheek humour - the dysfunctional family sit down to watch Dracula Price Of Darkness one evening. Yes on the whole, I would definitely recommend the sexy and sinister Byzantium. It's a dark and heady, melancholic brew that occasionally put me in mind of Shimako Sato's Tale Of A Vampire (1992) in the way it managed to capture both modern life in the UK and the immortality the characters possessed. 

Song For Marion (2012)

I feel like I'm kicking an adorable big eyed puppy dog when I say that Song For Marion was a big disappointment.

Terence Stamp, Vanessa Redgrave, Christopher Eccleston and for me, the fittest actress around right now Gemma Arterton make for an impressive leading quartet.  I really wanted to like this. So where did it all go wrong?

The plot concerns Marion (Redgrave) a terminally ill pensioner and her husband, the grumpy taciturn Arther (Stamp) Marion attends a local choir group run by local, lonely schoolteacher Elizabeth (Arterton), making friends and finding a new lease of life in her last days - something that Arthur struggles to comprehend until slowly, following a tragedy, he finds himself drawn towards the group and his bitterness towards it and his grown up son James (Eccleston) ultimately thaws.

Song For Marion shamelessly tugs at the heartstrings in a manner that makes it all too mawkish and thoroughly predictable. You cannot help but think you've seen this film before, so familiar are the tropes of teary set pieces, feelgood moments and against all odds scenarios the cast of characters are forced to go through. I'm quite a sucker for a sad story and have been known to blub like a newborn at many a film and TV show, but this just doesn't have the necessary heart or spark to engage. It just feels a bit flat, and the over familiarity means you can't help but think you're just expected to laugh here or cry there. It's also extremely poorly written at times, with Gemma Arterton (not very convincing as a friendless wallflower) having to endure dialogue so unnatural and awkward when simply spitting out her character biography to Terence Stamp. Who talks like this in real life?

Also, I just don't find the sight of elderly character actors dressed in outlandish rocker and rapper gear, gurning and singing off key to Ace Of Spades and Let's Talk About Sex as hilarious as the film would like me to. I actually find it a bit patronising to older people, who would surely make up the biggest section of the film's intended audience. Song For Marion is certainly in the newly discovered field of attracting the grey pound at the cinema, much like The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and Quartet.  Now, I liked The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, but this is such a letdown. It's only the calibre of cast and at times a truly affecting poignant performance from Terence Stamp that make it worth watching. It's by no means a bad film, but equally it is not a good one either. A shame because as I say, I really wanted to like this.

The Disappearance Of Alice Creed (2010)

I'm actually a bit surprised that The Disappearance of Alice Creed is not in fact based on a play, so theatrical is its sensibility. More, I'm surprised it wasn't a play from the 60s or 70s, as it feels like some fantasy collaboration between Anthony Shaffer and Harold Pinter, with a few suggestions from Joe Orton thrown in to shock the audience. It's a great credit therefore to writer and director J Blakeson that his full feature directorial debut can not only recall such greats but play only to the strengths, avoiding the pitfalls, of the three hander constraints and styles of the very best theatre, as well as managing the sleight of hand to make a film whose limited cast and setting doesn't necessarily rankle with its audience.

Blakeson delivers a taut and unflinching 90 minutes that is filled with twist, counter twist, cross and double cross that certainly make an audience gasp. The meat of such material requires the very best from a cast so small and inevitably they have to be at the top of their game. I am pleased to say that the wonderful Eddie Marsan (never not at the top of his game) Gemma Arterton and Matthew Compston definitely deliver every second with real conviction.

It's certainly a brave and assured turn from Arterton, an actress I greatly admire though admittedly often for the shallow aspect that she is stunningly attractive. Here she gets to reveal a very different side to her screen image and embraces the chance and challenge to the hilt. I hope she can get more roles like this and less roles that are essentially totty in wannabe franchise flicks like Prince Of Persia, Hansel and Gretel etc, which though cheesily likeable hardly stretch her. Martin Compston, with arguably the most complex character of the trio, continues to prove that beyond the baby face there is an incredibly mature actor capable of real depth. Marsan is as ever a solid fulcrum for the piece, a strong powerhouse who is totally captivating yet generous enough with his fellow cast, whom you know will provide the necessary fireworks.

If there's one quibble, and it is only slight, it is that when all is said and done each actor depicts a character who is essentially not very likeable, not even the tragic kidnapped Alice. As such it can be hard for a viewer to have any sympathy for anyone, but the tense air and the numerous twists are what will keep you watching. 

Reading this back I can't help but feel it seems more like a theatre review, but that is because ultimately I cannot stop thinking of the piece, so heavily focused on the acting of its trio, as being such. That is not to say that it isn't filmic or visually arresting, there are some wonderfully tight well constructed scenes throughout that can only pay off on the screen - certainly the film's opening 5/10 minutes. It's just that ultimately, for a subject so reliant on twists and turns I'm wondering if it can stand up to a repeated viewing like other films. It just loses out on reaching top marks because of that, but it is very very close.

Far From The Madding Crowd

Firstly, I should admit that I'm not too enamoured with Thomas Hardy. This is down to two things; one, the seemingly endless description of a hill in one of his novels bored my younger self to tears and two, I had an ex who was mad about him, so anything Hardy related inevitably brings back memories. However, it's films like this (Polanski's Tess being another) that give me some slight pause to reconsider my stance.

Though performing pretty well at the UK box office, Far From The Madding Crowd was somewhat slated on release with criticisms along the lines of how unconvincing the Carnaby Street leads were in rural Hardy country. Indeed, the US poster bill above goes all out to ensure the potential audience are aware that the film stars Swinging London's finest by citing Georgy Girl (Alan Bates) and Doctor Zhivago (Julie Christie) in the tagline. Any validity in such petty arguments have however fallen away over the years and we can now appreciate a crop of actors performing classic material at their peak.

I have still have one problem with Hardy it's that Bathsheba, played by  Christie, is a somewhat irritating 'heroine' concerned only with her own desires and utterly oblivious, immune or even heartless to what she does (such as play with the emotions of the aloof Boldwood played with a repressed majesty by Peter Finch) and the selfless actions of Oak (played by the great Alan Bates) when trying to aid her. There's a line of dialogue from Troy (Terence Stamp) that states she is a woman of such beauty that she doesn't know what effect she has on others, and that goes in some way as to explaining this particularly disagreeable trait. Thankfully, in casting Julie Christie, John Schlesinger manages in some way to get the audience on her side regardless.
It's a shame he was alleged to have little time or patience with his star Terence Stamp who, if we are to believe Stamp's account, he left to flounder and told him not to perform in the Somerset accent he had trained. It's a shame as it may have helped stave off those Carnaby Street criticisms that were to follow if he'd let Stamp have his way. However, Stamp performs brilliantly as the roguish Troy, never more so than in the subtext heavy scene in which he demonstrates his...ah..swordmanship (no, really) to Christie; a scene beautifully shot by Nic Roeg.

Several scenes have long lingered in my memory (including the one above) but especially the tragedy of Bates' wayward dog allowing the sheep to come loose from the pen, herding them off the cliff to their deaths, followed by the inevitable punishment for the dog. Horrible, hard and poignant.

Far From The Madding Crowd is the kind of film you want to watch at Christmas; an adaptation of a classic novel, slightly overlong for the grey and cold afternoon, beautiful locations, beautiful cast and beautifully shot. It also has a brilliant score from Sir Richard Rodney Bennett who, as previously reported, we sadly lost this Christmas. RIP.

Incidentally for those who didn't know, the 2010 comedy drama Tamara Drewe starring the gorgeous Gemma Arterton is based on a graphic novel by Posy Simmonds that was itself seen as a satire on Far From The Madding Crowd

World Of Leather

Gemma Arterton (gorgeous) and Jeremy Renner in the fun sounding forthcoming Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

Girls With Guns

First of the month

The gorgeous Gemma Arterton