I Hired a Contract Killer concerns Henri, a lonely émigré who left France because, as he says, no one liked him there. Having washed up in London, he has spent the last 15 years as a clerk at a waterworks department, where no one seems to like him either. When the department is privatised by the government, Henri is made redundant. Believing his life no longer has any purpose, Henri attempts to take his own life but is beset by ill-fortune; the rope snaps scuppering his hanging, and a gas strike means he can't do away with himself by sticking his head in the oven either. Determined to wave goodbye to this cruel world, Henri explores the dark underbelly of the capital and hires a hit-man (a taciturn Kenneth Colley) to put him out of his misery; but after meeting flower-seller Margaret (Clarke) in a pub, he finds a reason to live and tries to cancel the contract.
Look out to for a cameo from Joe Strummer as a pub musician.