Monday, 16 December 2013

Blubberella (2011)

I must have been feeling very sadistic today. Because I watched this. The dumbest film I've endured outside of porn!




I don't actually know much of Uwe Boll's work, but I know of his poor reputation. It seems a crappy deeply arrogant director actually went out of his way to make a properly bad movie 'for a laugh' in between filming of his movie Bloodrayne: The Third Reich (using the same locations, sets, crew etc which at least makes this shit look like money was spent on it) A spoof of that film, Blubberella feels like a cash in to the Grindhouse revivals with a dash of John Waters, South Park, Mel Brooks and very, very little charm.




The story, such as it is, concerns as the above image shows, a 'half human, half vampire, mostly dough' young woman - though quite why she's a vampire is beyond me as it bears little relevance on the film. She's essentially an overweight superhero living in 1940's Germany, but with all the mod cons and experiences of the present day, including the net and internet dating, GPS and even a Segway. Obsessed with food and sex to the extent she's utterly ignorant of the war around her (capitalising on the dumb fat American stereotype here) Our heroine becomes annoyed to find all the Jewish men she had arranged to meet from a 'Hebrew hook up' dating site have disappeared,  so she sets out to find why and kill the Nazis responsible.

Yes. It really does go there. 

Boll clearly thinks he's making Mel Brooks jokes but he's not, he's just deeply unfunny, crass and offensive. Not only are there extremely distasteful holocaust gags (with one character, a gay resistance fighter called Vadge spraying air freshener at a train full of Jews on the way to the camps, deciding not to rescue them because 'they smell like balls') he also has the actor playing Vadge (an irritating little prick in a cast full of irritants) black up in an interminably long skit on Precious and then the actor who plays Blubberella's love interest blacks up too in an equally drawn out and unfunny scene in which Boll cameos as Hitler. It's just not acceptable in this day and age, surely?

Sorry but I just don't feel comfortable with it. It's not that I'm a prude when it comes to comedy - I have a very dark sense of humour and think comedy shouldn't necessarily have boundaries - but I do feel uncomfortable when the 'humour' seems to stem from ignorance and an air of just not giving a toss about anyone, in a manner that not only excuses, but allows, such feelings to continue and thrive.

And just when you think this film can't carry on plumbing the depths or be any stranger, up pops former cute child star now creepy looking fucker Clint Howard, Ron's brother, as an annoying (seriously this film doesn't trade in anything else) Nazi doctor.




I don't know the lead actress Lindsay Hollister (though her CV is a litany of appearances on many US TV shows and films) but she seems like an extremely self deprecating young woman as indeed she would have to be given the tone the film's script takes towards larger women. I do feel that she could feasibly be a very capable comic actress - given the chance with good material. This is not good material, but damn it she gives it her all. The modicum of charm this film does have, stems from her and her alone and it's her ability to deliver the occasional line or perform a bit of slapstick that raises a brief smile that earns this film its paltry half star rating on Letterboxd. I've hit the net since watching this to find this quote from here regarding making the film and why she did it;

"I’ve been doing this for ten years. While I’ve been extremely lucky to play some amazing characters, I’ve watched the roles dry up. And I’ve been shut out of even auditioning for many character roles because I’m too large. This movie would have been done with or without me. It would have been a lot more offensive if I hadn’t done it. But I didn’t win the war about the title. I hate the title."



It's clearly something of a double edged sword. She took a role because opportunities for people of her body type are diminishing in Hollywood, yet in doing so, her body type is essentially the butt of an over indulged joke for 85 minutes. Like I say, she's clearly very self deprecating and no doubt has to be, given Boll's commitment to that title.

In conclusion, if the sound of a film in which a Dhampir BBW constantly bitches with an overtly gay stereotype, makes her romantic interest prematurely ejaculate several times in fully clothed 'sex' scenes, does the same to a Nazi she smothers to death and then farts in a Nazi's face to kill him....then this is the film for you!

And good luck to you.





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