Saturday, 29 December 2012

Cockneys Vs Zombies

I spent the majority of this movie being deeply envious of the gun wedged down the back of Michelle Ryan's jeans.

This was something that initially I'd discarded as a terrible B movie cash in. The kind of pseudo Shaun Of The Dead cash in that has swamped British cinema in the same way that sub Guy Ritchie guff flooded the market after Lock Stock. Worse, if you believe the tagline, this film seemed to want to combine the two! But then I read reviews that said this was a little more than what it sounded like on paper. I watched the trailer and was convinced by at least one singular laugh out loud moment care of Richard Briers. So it appeared on my Xmas list.

To be honest this really should have been 'Zimmers Vs Zombies' because the majority of the fun in this low budget feature actually stems from the veteran actors such as Richard Briers - with the aforementioned hilarious scene (and a couple more too), Alan Ford, Honor Blackman, Tony Selby, Dudley Sutton and Georgina Hale as opposed to the younger wannabe Lock Stock part of the plot. It's certainly far funnier when it focuses on the OAPs.

That is not to say that Michelle Ryan, Harry Treadaway and Rasmus Hardiker etc don't contribute to the film or convince, they do on the whole, but their story is less laugh out loud funny or gripping as the old fogies at the care home, making me wonder if discarding them altogether wouldn't have made for a more entertaining movie. 

Of the youngsters Rasmus Hardiker, a comic actor I've long admired especially for Steve Coogan's Saxondale, plays his role with a lot of depth and heart whilst former EastEnders and Bionic Woman star Michelle Ryan looks gorgeous but is a little wasted with her one note sweary cockney kick ass female character. Such a shame they didn't give her role more depth beyond a wank fantasy.

Cockney Vs Zombies is a rather amusing 85 minutes to spend with a few beers. Nothing more, nothing less. It does however boost the mythological cockney way of life thereby giving those maudlin teary eyed Blitz spirit loving rhyming slang nutters a boost of confidence beyond EastEnders and that should never EVER be allowed ;)

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